So after she and I determined (while I was in the shower) that Justin Timberlake was Superman, we talked about how much better the Man of Steel trailers would be if Justin was in the starring role. After some discussion we decided David Bowie would play Jor-El.
Best part though, imagine that final scene in the trailer, there’s Justin sitting across from Amy Adams, and she’s like…”what’s the “S” stand for?” and he just gives her this smile “duh” look….. “Sexy Back”.
Obi Wan is sneaking through the Death Star when Jack says, “Oh, he’s going to fight Dark Vader. It’s my favorite part.” Then, a few seconds later, “They shouldn’t call this movie Star Wars. They should call it Obi Kedobi versus Dark Vader.” (We’re still working on the names.)
I can hear Jack talking to mom in the kitchen while she prepares dinner. Jack is pretending to be Gamera (a giant fire breathing turtle, who can retract his limbs into his shell and fly like a rocket ship), and he has asked Laura to pretend to be Pinkie Pie (My Little Pony; Friendship is Magic). They are planning a birthday party with bubbles. A bubble party. Your kid is boring.
So about a week ago, my sister used her lighter to burn and repair a crayon for Jack. It was his “best red crayon”. Today, we’re watching Gamera vs. Guiron, and Gamera uses his fire breath to weld two halves of a spaceship together to save some children trapped on an alien planet. Jack says: “He used fire and pushed them together, just like my crayon!” and then “My aunt is a lot like Gamera!”
We got free Frosty’s tonight because the Predators scored four goals. Jack didn’t even come close to finishing his and said he wanted to save the rest to pour over his cereal in the morning. Which prompted John Hill and I to have this conversation:
Me-When do you get to the point where you understand that adding two good things together doesn’t mean you’ll get a better thing?
John-Sometimes you do though.
Me-Yeah, that’s true. I did have chicken and waffles tonight.
John-Yeah, and we had bacon on a stick.
Me-A stick doesn’t count as a good thing.
John-What? We love stick! Stick was our first invention!
Me-We didn’t invent the stick!
John-No, but we used it. Without stick, you could never have spear!
Fair warning: Nothing infuriates the Hills more than hearing parents talk to children about the “monkeys” at the Nashville Zoo. There isn’t a damned monkey in this entire place, and we will get in your face about it.
Over breakfast in a diner, Elvis comes on:
Jack: Hey, this is from Lilo and Stitch!
Me: Oh, honey, that’s Elvis. (Followed by explanation of who Elvis was.)
Then Bob Dylan came on.
Me: Okay, John, you get this one.
John: He’s not ready. No one is
Talking to Jack after he’d had to go to his room for being a sassypants, I asked if he had anything to say to me. His answer: “I’m sorry. It won’t happen again….also…I’ve been time traveling.”
Wife and I listened as Jack struggled with his Sunday school lesson: “to love our enemies.”
How did you feel about that?
"I feel unguarded"
"It’s impossible to love your enemies, you have to destroy them."
I should really find some easy way to record our conversations.